Maggie and I began some pre-engagement counseling with a dating couple recently. They're trying to discern whether they should consider marriage. While preparing, I was reminded of this quote from "When You Marry The Wrong Person" by David Zahl in the most recent issue of Mockingbird.
In the life of a romantic relationship, similarities are largely taken for granted. Where you live--and where you get bogged down--are the places of difference. It doesn't matter how ostensibly minor those differences may be. Even tiny points of friction will come to occupy disproportionately vast emotional space, so much so that it often feels like you're coming from 180-degree opposite "cultures." You and your spouse may hold 95 percent of life and outlook in common; the other 5 percent is where your relationship is going to take place. Where affinity ends will be where forgiveness rears its head, too. Which some would call the substance of love.